Chance

I’m scared tonight as the side effects have kicked in. I am sweating up a storm and my stomach is churning.

I’m freaking out because things are about to get bad. Even though I need to do this or the cancer comes back.

But truly I’m really shitting myself. I’m about to drop an immune load in health.

I’m about to cling on to my dignity and things are going to be the most shitty they have ever been.

But it’s ok because after this journey. After all the the sweating and churning.

I will get a second chance. Fix my body and have a chance to dance!

Chance to finish my book and the chance to better my intelligence and enhance my looks.

Chance to live life the way I had intended. Not nasty, contorted no kind of corrupted.

I’ll travel and sing and laugh with friends. With lost loved ones I will make a mends.

Will never pretend about my feelings again. Be true for the purpose of being healthy again.

Although I say such things so grand. I look down and remember how I can hardly stand.

I can barely walk without pain and anguish. I just need this all to be bloody finished.

So please I ask with my fingers crossed. Don’t let all my hard work til now be lost.

Let me go cancer, from you I need to be free. Let me go cancer I need to be me!