Pretty.

Oh my, I am overcome with ugliness today. Tears cascade down my cheeks longing for a change. Sickness bubbles in the pit of my gut. Burning my soul on the way up. Wallowing in self doubt and lotheable pity. Wishing once again that I could be pretty. Watching the beauties on show before me, looking... Continue Reading →

Panic to Death

I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it's hard to just wake. Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on. Festive apparel plasters the screen. I'm supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling. But I can't bring my self... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

The Plan Behind The Booze

Alcohol, the socially acceptable drug, truly poisonous but feels like a hug. The elixir, a combination sweet and bitter, the taste of heaven until hell hit her. At first it wraps you in happiness and love then embarks a folly of distrust. A haze you're now in with memories a flutter, deep down you know... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Train.

Your shadowy figure lingers close. Your ghastly stench right under my nose. My heart is pounding quickly with fear, by the sound of your whispers close to my ear. Your presence creepy, evil and rough, making my body subzero to touch. The metallic aroma surrounding my mouth, filling the rest of my body with doubt.... Continue Reading →

Right in the middle of it!

It has been an other few weeks of doubt and anguish, and not because I'm in physical pain or have been overly ill. However it's the mental anguish that torments so many of us! We all deal with pain in different ways. Some inflict pain with the use of drugs, drink even food. Others actually... Continue Reading →

Chance

I'm scared tonight as the side effects have kicked in. I am sweating up a storm and my stomach is churning. I'm freaking out because things are about to get bad. Even though I need to do this or the cancer comes back. But truly I'm really shitting myself. I'm about to drop an immune... Continue Reading →

Getting there

I woke up with a smile today and thought about outside. Then I got extra mad when I had realised, I won’t be doing that today as I am far too sick. My dreams had lied to me and played a little trick. Made me think I could walk out there without my chair or... Continue Reading →

Angry

I was given a second chance. My life began again. Then it was grabbed from under me and now all I feel is pain. The doctors smile politely as I greet them pale and grey. They talk of medication, cures and instructions I must obey. They fill me with poison that kills the poison killing... Continue Reading →

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