Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

She’s still in there!

The sun shines bright in her eyes today, and she puffs out a sigh of relief. She's so happy to be alive today, content, but with confusion and disbelief? A smile broadens on her face today as she thinks about all the things she's able to do. Tomorrow she'll be attending a wedding. She can... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Still Rough

The CVID has been in full swing the past few weeks. It only started with a sore throat, but by gosh I'm weak. It went on to flu and now an infection. My chest is collapsing, please give me some medicine. The next stage pneumonia, bronchitis, sepsis? This isn't fair, why should I except this?... Continue Reading →

Fingers Crossed

I feel too rough to fake it today. I am at zero enegry, even to put on my mask. My body is shaking and my heart palputating and I really can't be arsed. My neck and my limbs feel bruised and burnt, my mouth is just on fire. I cough and feel dizzy as soon... Continue Reading →

CVID

I guess it wasn't supposed to be? No one understands CVID. I get sick a lot more than you. 10 times a year I'll catch the flu. Just a few months past pneumonia grabbed me. All because of CVID. Oh you ask what does it mean? Common Variable Immune Deficiency. It means I get sick... Continue Reading →

More medication

Have you ever had those years, where you just can't catch a break? Where you'll have a glimpse of life, then something grabs it for the take. My health is very selfish and wants me all alone. Lying, pathetic in my bed with my mobile phone. It's hungry for medication and injections galore. Doesn't really... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑