Thunder Cloud

There's a thunder cloud hovering above me, positioned to strike, at any moment! It threatens to pierce electricity straight through me. It is a Fierce opponent! Slowly, I stroll through the Valley of the Unknown, and turn the corner of Riddled With Symptoms. The aches and pains jerk rapidly, dancing together, in disharmonic rhythm. Sickness... Continue Reading →

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Dear Patient

Hey dear patient, can you be patient? Seriously, you'll just have to wait. Yes your results are disconcerting but we're pushing back the date. Oh, you've been deathly sick before, but then you're used to this? I mean you could be at the last stages, but what's a week to be missed? If you need... Continue Reading →

Possessed

Tears streamed down her face as she was hit with the realization that no one could hear her. She felt like she was screaming out in pain, but instead the hurt just hid, burried deep inside. She tried to dig her way back out, clawing at anything she could. However the harder she looked, the... Continue Reading →

Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

She’s still in there!

The sun shines bright in her eyes today, and she puffs out a sigh of relief. She's so happy to be alive today, content, but with confusion and disbelief? A smile broadens on her face today as she thinks about all the things she's able to do. Tomorrow she'll be attending a wedding. She can... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Still Rough

The CVID has been in full swing the past few weeks. It only started with a sore throat, but by gosh I'm weak. It went on to flu and now an infection. My chest is collapsing, please give me some medicine. The next stage pneumonia, bronchitis, sepsis? This isn't fair, why should I except this?... Continue Reading →

Fingers Crossed

I feel too rough to fake it today. I am at zero enegry, even to put on my mask. My body is shaking and my heart palputating and I really can't be arsed. My neck and my limbs feel bruised and burnt, my mouth is just on fire. I cough and feel dizzy as soon... Continue Reading →

Sickness through out my body and mind.

A satisfying sight, the recovery from a fight. The sun shines brightly and the world's a delight. At least I can breathe and the cancerous pollution no longer has me. Finally I feel the glory, finally I'm free, the path is clear for me to see. Well didnt that start off so sweet, the remmsion... Continue Reading →

CVID

I guess it wasn't supposed to be? No one understands CVID. I get sick a lot more than you. 10 times a year I'll catch the flu. Just a few months past pneumonia grabbed me. All because of CVID. Oh you ask what does it mean? Common Variable Immune Deficiency. It means I get sick... Continue Reading →

More medication

Have you ever had those years, where you just can't catch a break? Where you'll have a glimpse of life, then something grabs it for the take. My health is very selfish and wants me all alone. Lying, pathetic in my bed with my mobile phone. It's hungry for medication and injections galore. Doesn't really... Continue Reading →

Predator

"Come here young lady. Where are you off to?" "I'm just off to see my friends sir, what about you?" "I was just going for a stroll, do you need some company?" "No thank you, I'm nearly there sir. I don't need you to walk with me." "But you're alone on the street, I think... Continue Reading →

An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Waiting Room

I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room, fuelled by both hope and doom. The hustle and bustle of the busy staff, the situations serious but they smile and laugh. They try to ease the patients nerves, melt them away. Get them to forget about death today. Although weak and feeble in appearance, these are the... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

Dad (Ch7)

Again this is a fictional story these are not true events. Please enjoy šŸ™‚ My body was burning when I heard him call my name, I felt like a dirty, disgusting stain. How could he be lying there completely comatose. Next to a field of men doing, well goodness knows? I could feel the tears... Continue Reading →

BBQ (Ch6)

Lacey's eyes lit up at the sight of the glorious feast. I had changed from Billy Bear to Billy the food beast. Burgers, sausages and chicken galore. Crisps, cake, cola bottles and more. A mountain of plastic cups stacked up high. Foutainous coke and lemonade fizzing by. For a minute we were happy, it was... Continue Reading →

Fobbed Off For Being Fat

I have been considered obese since I was about 8 years old. EvenĀ some of theĀ adults in my life would make remarks, or little digs when you really think about it. But I was never made to feel ugly, not by friends and family anyway. In fact I was told quite often how beautiful I was... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Train.

Your shadowy figure lingers close. Your ghastly stench right under my nose. My heart is pounding quickly with fear, by the sound of your whispers close to my ear. Your presence creepy, evil and rough, making my body subzero to touch. The metallic aroma surrounding my mouth, filling the rest of my body with doubt.... Continue Reading →

Right in the middle of it!

It has been an other few weeks of doubt and anguish, and not because I'm in physical pain or have been overly ill. However it's the mental anguish that torments so many of us! We all deal with pain in different ways. Some inflict pain with the use of drugs, drink even food. Others actually... Continue Reading →

Chance

I'm scared tonight as the side effects have kicked in. I am sweating up a storm and my stomach is churning. I'm freaking out because things are about to get bad. Even though I need to do this or the cancer comes back. But truly I'm really shitting myself. I'm about to drop an immune... Continue Reading →

My fall!

Well I'm not sure I want to do this anymore. I'm bored of this life. I don't want it and I would like to swap now please. I've never felt so hollow and regressed. All of my emotions have left me. My chest is full of anxiety and dread but twined with nothingness blanketed through... Continue Reading →

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