An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Waiting Room

I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room, fuelled by both hope and doom. The hustle and bustle of the busy staff, the situations serious but they smile and laugh. They try to ease the patients nerves, melt them away. Get them to forget about death today. Although weak and feeble in appearance, these are the... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

Fobbed Off For Being Fat

I have been considered obese since I was about 8 years old. Even some of the adults in my life would make remarks, or little digs when you really think about it. But I was never made to feel ugly, not by friends and family anyway. In fact I was told quite often how beautiful I was... Continue Reading →

Panicked.

The anxiety is kicking in today. I've been having hot flushes, palpitations, stomach aches and my throat feels like its blocked by something sharp! You see I get my results tomorrow to find out if I'm in remission again, nervous is an understatement. So today I've been sitting here trying to do the breathing techniques... Continue Reading →

Our Nan our Angel.

Lovely angel high up in the sky, don't threat about us with our tears streaming by. Yes we miss your wonderful smile and we know we won't see you for a while. But we know you're up there dancing with grandad, so we try to smile and not be sad. We remember you the glue... Continue Reading →

Alright Already.

I really want to be left alone, sick and tired of needing to be looked after. You wouldn't think that I was thirty one, whilst I am constantly being watched over. For goodness sake it's been two years of agony and pain, and even though I've finished treatment it's all starting up again. A pinch... Continue Reading →

Chance

I'm scared tonight as the side effects have kicked in. I am sweating up a storm and my stomach is churning. I'm freaking out because things are about to get bad. Even though I need to do this or the cancer comes back. But truly I'm really shitting myself. I'm about to drop an immune... Continue Reading →

Getting there

I woke up with a smile today and thought about outside. Then I got extra mad when I had realised, I won’t be doing that today as I am far too sick. My dreams had lied to me and played a little trick. Made me think I could walk out there without my chair or... Continue Reading →

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