My face will never frown

I don't like the weekend. It's where my routine goes to pot. And, now that we're in crisis, we're stuck inside a lot. A bottle for our sorrows, a bottle for our glee. See it's only one for you, when I would then down three! The weekends are for resting. Yet, that is all I... Continue Reading →

Deflecting

I wrote a different poem, but, I'm too scared to share. Far too many emotions, dispersed over there!I feel silly, quite pathetic, ridiculous, ashamed! I'm embarrassed by this, but, only got myself to blame.Now, I'm stuck here rather glum, without a reason or a clue? Twiddling my thumbs with not much else to do. Might... Continue Reading →

Get Out!

Get out, get out, I cast you out, I will not let you be! This constant dread, inside my head, can't have a hold on me! You creep inside, my frustrated mind, through my eyes, you'll see. Distortion, distaste, destruction, chaos and anarchy! You can't feed upon my emotions, you'll drink a drop no more.... Continue Reading →

Self-care!

It's been a funny old couple of days. My intuition on point once more and the outcome not my favourite but, it's healthier and had to be done! During these times it's difficult to do self-care,  especially when your self-care is locking yourself inside. Well, we've been doing that all bloody year! So what do... Continue Reading →

Transforming Me

I have been on the slightly larger side since primary school. I had hit puberty early and with that had dimensions the other 8/9/10-year-olds didn't. I stayed slightly curvier and more meatsome all the way through my teens too. But, then for some reason, I started to gain weight rapidly. I was no longer just... Continue Reading →

Every inch of blue.

It's 3 am, I'm up again, I can't stay asleep. I have something deep down inside trying to strangle me. There is no rhyme or reason, limerick or joke. No decent explanation as to why I have to choke? It squeezes furiously, the air begins to fade. My vessel full of terror. My brain is... Continue Reading →

Too scared of the truth.

Please stop drinking, Your soul is sinking. Unaware of your whereabouts, This poison stops you thinking! Want to retrace your steps? Last night's anyone's guess! You've gone blank. It's time for a memory test. Check yourself for bruises, Check yourself for lumps. Must have fallen over? Head has a massive bump. Your left eye is... Continue Reading →

Unrequited! (Addiction)

I don't want to! You can't make me! I will not let you go! Your breaths, my breath. Have you, till death. Your life I'll forever own. Even on the light days, When it all seems less heavy, I shall be sat at the table. Misery loves company, You, the exception. Must mean your less... Continue Reading →

Unwelcome Taste

Damaged goods, Lost in deep thought. Anticipation, Leaves her distraught! Her broken vessel, It shudders with pain. The wait is physical, Emotions are Slain. She can not concentrate, She struggles to breathe, Wish to let go, Be free of disease! You play loose and free, No care for the next. Does it not matter, Shes... Continue Reading →

Diminish My Pride

Not enough! Not worthy. Too made up! Too earthy! Wears to much makeup! Alright. But, fat! Self esteem, Even lower than that! They say the right things. None of them mean it. I'm so sick and tired, Of all of the bullshit? Someone has to be kind and true. We know it i'snt going to... Continue Reading →

It’s not awful all the time.

It's 3am. I've been up for what feels like an hour trying to feel normal again. I awoke mouth burning, lips swollen, heart raging. Is my chest going to collapse? No, that's my brain, it's dysfunctional! It won't let me sleep. I'm not allowed to understand peace. My insides clattering beneath my skin. I can't... Continue Reading →

Mildred (Rough)

Wait! I think I hear her? Ssshhhh! She's coming! Quick hide behind this curtain. Hopefully we'll blend in? Seriously, stay still, shes sensitive to movement. The slightest shudder and the next thing you will experience is her icey, fingers, wrapped around your throat. Her blood laden nails will pierce your esophagus one talon at a... Continue Reading →

Good Morning My Darlings!

Good morning my darlings, how are we today? Let us take away this display of dismay? There's no need for all this sadness my dears. I know how to melt away all of your fears! No need to worry, it will be over soon! Now have this medicine off of the spoon! Go on, DRINK... Continue Reading →

Night Terrors

Tick, tock, tick, tock, the clock titters in the corner of the lounge and I peak upon its face. Its expression tells me that it's nearly three. How long have I been here, staring into space? Drip, drop, drip, drop, faint droplets of water are leaking from a tap. Pretending not to notice, I lay... Continue Reading →

Whistle Winds.

In the wind it waits. Crystals of breath speckled upon frosted windows. As each night grows longer, the creature soaks up the darkness, savouring each ounce in anticipation for its prey. Roaming the moors, whistling an inviting melody. It leads the young into the depths. The pitter patter of infant feet clatter upon the earthy... Continue Reading →

Wear a mask you selfish monsters!

I can not do this! Too many take the piss! Prepare your mouths for hellfire's kiss! Creating confusion. So much delusion! Conspiracies rife, With ludicris solutions! Losing our minds. The masses unkind! Dig a little deeper, Only chaos inside! Too much division, Manic collision. This course unstable, Loss of life is the vision! The few... Continue Reading →

Invisible Illness

The toxic bile you stuff in you mouth, could be the reason you healths gone south? Oh shit, your eyes have gone green. Quicky now, pump up the morphine! No position a comfort, which ever stance you take. Trusting the doctor was your bigest mistake! No visible signs, must mean that you're well. Your insides... Continue Reading →

What they tell you!

There's a darkness inside of us, we must suppress it!A shadow cast over us, we mustn't address it!Put on a show, reinforce happiness.Be bright child, you know not of sadness!Bury it deep, dont let it surface,hide it with a smile, don't let it crack.Whine not child, you know nothing of pain.Shut up before the masses... Continue Reading →

Makeup Therapy

"I wear make up for me." We hear this statement a lot and it's true. I also post pictures of myself wearing makeup so other people can see exactly how good I feel in said makeup. Is it vain? I suppose it is a bit, and we all know we're going to get hatred from... Continue Reading →

Social Media CV?

I have lost a copious amount of confidence in my 30's. I haven't had a job since 2016, I still live with my mother, and I am only now getting my mobility back after four years of constant struggle! I hate me! I can not get out of this rut. Every morning I sit with... Continue Reading →

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