Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Giving Up.

Waking up again this morning, nothing to do, no one to see. What's the point of getting up? I'm so fed up of being me. In pain, pissed off and oh so fatigued. Longing for some sort of release. Trapped inside this broken body. Pleading to finally be free. Crawling along, bearly lifting a finger,... Continue Reading →

Panic Attack.

Bish, bosh, bash. You're under attack! Your heart skips a beat, and you weren't expecting that! Smash, bang, wollop, I mean what a load of bollocks? It's punched you straight through the chest, and on the floor you dollop. A panic you've never experienced just shot through your chest. So much pain, you look down... Continue Reading →

Fingers Crossed

I feel too rough to fake it today. I am at zero enegry, even to put on my mask. My body is shaking and my heart palputating and I really can't be arsed. My neck and my limbs feel bruised and burnt, my mouth is just on fire. I cough and feel dizzy as soon... Continue Reading →

CVID

I guess it wasn't supposed to be? No one understands CVID. I get sick a lot more than you. 10 times a year I'll catch the flu. Just a few months past pneumonia grabbed me. All because of CVID. Oh you ask what does it mean? Common Variable Immune Deficiency. It means I get sick... Continue Reading →

More medication

Have you ever had those years, where you just can't catch a break? Where you'll have a glimpse of life, then something grabs it for the take. My health is very selfish and wants me all alone. Lying, pathetic in my bed with my mobile phone. It's hungry for medication and injections galore. Doesn't really... Continue Reading →

Mental Illness doesn’t mean crazy!

Oops. I think I scared you when I mentioned mental illness. Because to those that don't understand it, mental illness equals crazy. You think people like me have got a screw loose. The kinds of beasts that'll eat your babies. To you this imbalance in my mind automatically makes me dangerous. You act like if... Continue Reading →

My new face.

I just looked in the mirror and didn't recognise my reflection. When did I get an old ladies complexion? When did my eyes start to look this tired? When did these turn up, these wrinkles all wired? Why when I frown, do lines decorate my face? Grey hairs sprinkled all over the place! Why when... Continue Reading →

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