Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

Fearful and manic!

I'm feeling super anxious today, I actually might throw up?! I don't want people to see me. I wanna hide. It's just too much! I don't want to be on show, if it isn't on my terms. My stomach and throat tightens, splits and over turns. The panic stiffens my body, my neck and jaw... Continue Reading →

When you try.

It's happened again, I tried to be normal. Every time I move, I nearly fall. My legs are stiff, my bones are broken, the pain in my body had risen and woken. Stuck in one place for hours and hours, unable to even get washed in the shower. The more I try the harder my... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

She’s still in there!

The sun shines bright in her eyes today, and she puffs out a sigh of relief. She's so happy to be alive today, content, but with confusion and disbelief? A smile broadens on her face today as she thinks about all the things she's able to do. Tomorrow she'll be attending a wedding. She can... Continue Reading →

To the monster in my nightmares

Please stop tapping on the window, you can't come in. I'm trying to sleep and your interfering. I want to dream wonderful things, get away from reality. You're here every night, why are you stalking me? What are you doing here, what do you want? Shall I write 'STAY OUT' on the window in big... Continue Reading →

Masquerade Ball

I go to my happy place, and grin from ear to ear. Although it's just inside my head, I need to interfere. I picture an idealic me, in a sweetheart, burgandy gown. My brunette hair in a half bun and the rest a meter off the ground. The clashing waves of my hair, cascading down... Continue Reading →

Used to…

I used to be so beautiful, but now I crack the mirror. No longer can I walk out proud, might as well just collect dinner! I used smile at passers by and they'd reciprocate. However, people tend to shy away from me of late. I used to have dark, long, wavy, hair, reaching to my... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

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