Dear Patient

Hey dear patient, can you be patient? Seriously, you'll just have to wait. Yes your results are disconcerting but we're pushing back the date. Oh, you've been deathly sick before, but then you're used to this? I mean you could be at the last stages, but what's a week to be missed? If you need... Continue Reading →

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Wretched Rumours.

I'm so bloody angry. Why do you let me down? When you do this sort of shit it leaves me with a frown! You think it's ok to play to your own rules. You pissed a lot of people off, taking them for fools. You don't take responsibility for any wrong doing. Your childish antics... Continue Reading →

Possessed

Tears streamed down her face as she was hit with the realization that no one could hear her. She felt like she was screaming out in pain, but instead the hurt just hid, burried deep inside. She tried to dig her way back out, clawing at anything she could. However the harder she looked, the... Continue Reading →

The right to my name!

Hot, blisters in the pit of my stomach, hellfire engulfs my flesh. Deeper and deeper I descend into darkness. Chaos about to burst from my chest. Further and further I crash through the pit, smashing into obstacles along the way. Razor blade objects cut through my soul, ripping, slicing and chipping away. I can see... Continue Reading →

Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

Fearful and manic!

I'm feeling super anxious today, I actually might throw up?! I don't want people to see me. I wanna hide. It's just too much! I don't want to be on show, if it isn't on my terms. My stomach and throat tightens, splits and over turns. The panic stiffens my body, my neck and jaw... Continue Reading →

When you try.

It's happened again, I tried to be normal. Every time I move, I nearly fall. My legs are stiff, my bones are broken, the pain in my body had risen and woken. Stuck in one place for hours and hours, unable to even get washed in the shower. The more I try the harder my... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Giving Up.

Waking up again this morning, nothing to do, no one to see. What's the point of getting up? I'm so fed up of being me. In pain, pissed off and oh so fatigued. Longing for some sort of release. Trapped inside this broken body. Pleading to finally be free. Crawling along, bearly lifting a finger,... Continue Reading →

Panic Attack.

Bish, bosh, bash. You're under attack! Your heart skips a beat, and you weren't expecting that! Smash, bang, wollop, I mean what a load of bollocks? It's punched you straight through the chest, and on the floor you dollop. A panic you've never experienced just shot through your chest. So much pain, you look down... Continue Reading →

Sickness through out my body and mind.

A satisfying sight, the recovery from a fight. The sun shines brightly and the world's a delight. At least I can breathe and the cancerous pollution no longer has me. Finally I feel the glory, finally I'm free, the path is clear for me to see. Well didnt that start off so sweet, the remmsion... Continue Reading →

Going outside with Anxiety.

It can be really difficult for some one who has anxiety to go outside. I can not venture out on a spontaneous one and don't really like letting people in my space spontaneously. So when some one like me gets let down especially a couple hours before we're supposed to meet. It's a massive set... Continue Reading →

BITCH!

I don't know if it's lack of motivation, sadness or both, but I haven't got the energy to people today. The thing is it's happening more and more, it's become completely normal, and I know that's not ok! However it's easy to collapse in this pit of despair, harder to claw your way back to... Continue Reading →

1st night!

It comes closer every night. I see a monstrous silhouette crawl down from the roof of the train. I'm at the front of the carriage and there are nine people behind me. That makes me number ten. I see it slyly, slither behind the passengers at the far back. Instantaneous heat fills the car. Sweat... Continue Reading →

My bed, my only friend.

I gravitate towards my bed. I like to rest my weary head. Should I venture out instead? Nah, you know, I'd rather be dead. Socialize with other demons. None of them are really human. Stay inside and don't go near them. I'll just stay alone in here then. Why would I want any friends? Many... Continue Reading →

Predator

"Come here young lady. Where are you off to?" "I'm just off to see my friends sir, what about you?" "I was just going for a stroll, do you need some company?" "No thank you, I'm nearly there sir. I don't need you to walk with me." "But you're alone on the street, I think... Continue Reading →

Randoms at the Door.

There we go again. Randoms at the door. It's happening so much again, it's hard to ignore. But if I react or answer it, I know things will get worse. Its like living in this flat of mine is just a massive curse. The people who have been here before, frequent when they're drunk. Only... Continue Reading →

Fair game

Has anything happened in your adult life, that made you instantly regress back to childhood? That frightened and unsure state of mind that eventually lead to you being misunderstood. Where people think you're the one overreacting, because they're too intoxicated. But hold on I'm the child here, why with these people are we affiliated? Why... Continue Reading →

Mental Illness doesn’t mean crazy!

Oops. I think I scared you when I mentioned mental illness. Because to those that don't understand it, mental illness equals crazy. You think people like me have got a screw loose. The kinds of beasts that'll eat your babies. To you this imbalance in my mind automatically makes me dangerous. You act like if... Continue Reading →

Wash away the sadness

I'm so terribly sad, so much so my stomach hurts. The pain rises up and burst out! I'm broken and nothing works. A shell lost amongst the fishes, in the deep blue sea. They swim and frolic happily beside me. I'm unnoticeable, a small gem at the bottom of the ocean. The waves wash me... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Elf.

Things were approaching normal again. The mainstream, just in sight. I even went on date yesterday and I had a lovely night. I went to bed all content, and wrapped up all in joy. Well, until my anxiety popped up, just to annoy! "For goodness sake anxiety, why can't you let me be?" "Well I... Continue Reading →

Panic to Death

I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it's hard to just wake. Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on. Festive apparel plasters the screen. I'm supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling. But I can't bring my self... Continue Reading →

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