The right to my name!

Hot, blisters in the pit of my stomach, hellfire engulfs my flesh. Deeper and deeper I descend into darkness. Chaos about to burst from my chest. Further and further I crash through the pit, smashing into obstacles along the way. Razor blade objects cut through my soul, ripping, slicing and chipping away. I can see... Continue Reading →

Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

Fearful and manic!

I'm feeling super anxious today, I actually might throw up?! I don't want people to see me. I wanna hide. It's just too much! I don't want to be on show, if it isn't on my terms. My stomach and throat tightens, splits and over turns. The panic stiffens my body, my neck and jaw... Continue Reading →

When you try.

It's happened again, I tried to be normal. Every time I move, I nearly fall. My legs are stiff, my bones are broken, the pain in my body had risen and woken. Stuck in one place for hours and hours, unable to even get washed in the shower. The more I try the harder my... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

To the monster in my nightmares

Please stop tapping on the window, you can't come in. I'm trying to sleep and your interfering. I want to dream wonderful things, get away from reality. You're here every night, why are you stalking me? What are you doing here, what do you want? Shall I write 'STAY OUT' on the window in big... Continue Reading →

No Thanks

This isn't about anyone in particular, but a collective of passed lovers from when I was younger and dumber.

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Still Rough

The CVID has been in full swing the past few weeks. It only started with a sore throat, but by gosh I'm weak. It went on to flu and now an infection. My chest is collapsing, please give me some medicine. The next stage pneumonia, bronchitis, sepsis? This isn't fair, why should I except this?... Continue Reading →

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