An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Panic to Death

I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it's hard to just wake. Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on. Festive apparel plasters the screen. I'm supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling. But I can't bring my self... Continue Reading →

Waiting Room

I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room, fuelled by both hope and doom. The hustle and bustle of the busy staff, the situations serious but they smile and laugh. They try to ease the patients nerves, melt them away. Get them to forget about death today. Although weak and feeble in appearance, these are the... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

Night time.

Beneath the covers with just my head poking out. Witnessing winds whistle and the thunder boom and shout. Flashes of light illuminate the night, in between pure darkness that bombard my restless mind. The shadows creep among the walls surrounding me at night, whirling close to me and forever in my sight. A chill befalls... Continue Reading →

The Plan Behind The Booze

Alcohol, the socially acceptable drug, truly poisonous but feels like a hug. The elixir, a combination sweet and bitter, the taste of heaven until hell hit her. At first it wraps you in happiness and love then embarks a folly of distrust. A haze you're now in with memories a flutter, deep down you know... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Train.

Your shadowy figure lingers close. Your ghastly stench right under my nose. My heart is pounding quickly with fear, by the sound of your whispers close to my ear. Your presence creepy, evil and rough, making my body subzero to touch. The metallic aroma surrounding my mouth, filling the rest of my body with doubt.... Continue Reading →

Right in the middle of it!

It has been an other few weeks of doubt and anguish, and not because I'm in physical pain or have been overly ill. However it's the mental anguish that torments so many of us! We all deal with pain in different ways. Some inflict pain with the use of drugs, drink even food. Others actually... Continue Reading →

Panicked.

The anxiety is kicking in today. I've been having hot flushes, palpitations, stomach aches and my throat feels like its blocked by something sharp! You see I get my results tomorrow to find out if I'm in remission again, nervous is an understatement. So today I've been sitting here trying to do the breathing techniques... Continue Reading →

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