Beats of a Broken Drum.

A knock on the door and the beating drums of Jumanji, pound within my chest. I know it's probably nothing, but there's something inside me, and it's such a pest. A tap on the window, I feel the spies and gossips, whispering, confronting me. No. It's the wind whistling by, for goodness sake Hayley, it's... Continue Reading →

I resign!

I was pushing through, but my oxygen depleted. I told you all before, I need isolation after meeting. But I let myself get bombarded, with everybody's woes. So much so, it's got me ripping at my hair and clothes. I need my cave now and I need to be left alone. I was taken for... Continue Reading →

Monster in my mind

I don't know why this is happening? I don't want to die! But lately I've been contemplating, my own suicide. Got that tricky demon whispering, living in my mind. Make the world swallow me whole, I really want to hide! It tells me lots of lies, to make me think I'm bad. Makes me think... Continue Reading →

When you try.

It's happened again, I tried to be normal. Every time I move, I nearly fall. My legs are stiff, my bones are broken, the pain in my body had risen and woken. Stuck in one place for hours and hours, unable to even get washed in the shower. The more I try the harder my... Continue Reading →

Thanks for the Invite

You look so well, how have you been? It's been a long time since you were seen. You seem, healthy and smily, really happy. Yes but deep down inside I feel really crappy. I can't tell you that coz it'll dampen the mood. So I just smile and nod, try not to be rude. I... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Giving Up.

Waking up again this morning, nothing to do, no one to see. What's the point of getting up? I'm so fed up of being me. In pain, pissed off and oh so fatigued. Longing for some sort of release. Trapped inside this broken body. Pleading to finally be free. Crawling along, bearly lifting a finger,... Continue Reading →

More medication

Have you ever had those years, where you just can't catch a break? Where you'll have a glimpse of life, then something grabs it for the take. My health is very selfish and wants me all alone. Lying, pathetic in my bed with my mobile phone. It's hungry for medication and injections galore. Doesn't really... Continue Reading →

Going outside with Anxiety.

It can be really difficult for some one who has anxiety to go outside. I can not venture out on a spontaneous one and don't really like letting people in my space spontaneously. So when some one like me gets let down especially a couple hours before we're supposed to meet. It's a massive set... Continue Reading →

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