Pretty.

Oh my, I am overcome with ugliness today. Tears cascade down my cheeks longing for a change. Sickness bubbles in the pit of my gut. Burning my soul on the way up. Wallowing in self doubt and lotheable pity. Wishing once again that I could be pretty. Watching the beauties on show before me, looking... Continue Reading →

An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Panic to Death

I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it's hard to just wake. Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on. Festive apparel plasters the screen. I'm supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling. But I can't bring my self... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

Angry

I was given a second chance. My life began again. Then it was grabbed from under me and now all I feel is pain. The doctors smile politely as I greet them pale and grey. They talk of medication, cures and instructions I must obey. They fill me with poison that kills the poison killing... Continue Reading →

Arguing with Anxiety

I feel sick and my body is shaking. It's not a cold or flu. All of my insides are aching. Now I can't breathe too. Unfortunately I know what's coming. But it will not stop. That's right stick concrete down my throat. Then stack up bricks on top. The rational side is slowly fading. My... Continue Reading →

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