Numb

You're so numb, even alcohol won't hit you? You've tried to be intoxicated, but you're simply immune? Trying to escape, you hope to soon. Your life has lost rhythm, your hearts out of tune! Done wishing for something, anything good! Multiple shadows, divert to the woods. The souls of the heathen, cloaked with hoods. Why... Continue Reading →

Advertisements

One of Those Years

When I wake up, I'm instantly drowning. My face is immediately frowning. Surrounded by the darkest day, my heart is filled, full of grey. Pain races through my body, anxiety courses quickly inside me. Panic sets in, not yet out of bed. Everything jumbled inside of my head. Whispers of rumours, clutter my ears, reciting... Continue Reading →

What’s the point?

My life saving medicine is trying to kill me. Doesn't make sense right? But this I believe! Intravenous, infusion, to help my immunity. I'm trying to combat my CVID! A lay on the chair, needle in arm. Take some deep breaths, try to stay calm. My body perspiring, I'm a little alarmed. Why is this... Continue Reading →

The lost

The trapped are calling me, screaming out my name. Hands over my ears, I try to hide from guilt and shame. They're trying to convince me that I am just the same. These problems self inflicted, only got myself to blame. I can feel their heartache, I can feel their pain. The blood of the... Continue Reading →

Don’t Play!

What is it about these scandalous little dudes? Sending romantic messages like, 'I love you.' I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I am flattered in no way. What scam have you got going? I've no time for silly games! You say you think me pretty, I'll agree with you there. But then you tell... Continue Reading →

Dear Patient

Hey dear patient, can you be patient? Seriously, you'll just have to wait. Yes your results are disconcerting but we're pushing back the date. Oh, you've been deathly sick before, but then you're used to this? I mean you could be at the last stages, but what's a week to be missed? If you need... Continue Reading →

Possessed

Tears streamed down her face as she was hit with the realization that no one could hear her. She felt like she was screaming out in pain, but instead the hurt just hid, burried deep inside. She tried to dig her way back out, clawing at anything she could. However the harder she looked, the... Continue Reading →

An Other Appointment. Scan 50.

Good morning patient, how you doing there? If you wait a moment, I'll wheel in your chair. Don't worry about the ruckus, by the pissed off able ones. I promise to get to you, as soon as they're done! Ok then patient, thank you for waiting. But why are you sitting there, sweating and shaking?... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Still Rough

The CVID has been in full swing the past few weeks. It only started with a sore throat, but by gosh I'm weak. It went on to flu and now an infection. My chest is collapsing, please give me some medicine. The next stage pneumonia, bronchitis, sepsis? This isn't fair, why should I except this?... Continue Reading →

Sickness through out my body and mind.

A satisfying sight, the recovery from a fight. The sun shines brightly and the world's a delight. At least I can breathe and the cancerous pollution no longer has me. Finally I feel the glory, finally I'm free, the path is clear for me to see. Well didnt that start off so sweet, the remmsion... Continue Reading →

CVID

I guess it wasn't supposed to be? No one understands CVID. I get sick a lot more than you. 10 times a year I'll catch the flu. Just a few months past pneumonia grabbed me. All because of CVID. Oh you ask what does it mean? Common Variable Immune Deficiency. It means I get sick... Continue Reading →

More medication

Have you ever had those years, where you just can't catch a break? Where you'll have a glimpse of life, then something grabs it for the take. My health is very selfish and wants me all alone. Lying, pathetic in my bed with my mobile phone. It's hungry for medication and injections galore. Doesn't really... Continue Reading →

Predator

"Come here young lady. Where are you off to?" "I'm just off to see my friends sir, what about you?" "I was just going for a stroll, do you need some company?" "No thank you, I'm nearly there sir. I don't need you to walk with me." "But you're alone on the street, I think... Continue Reading →

Fair game

Has anything happened in your adult life, that made you instantly regress back to childhood? That frightened and unsure state of mind that eventually lead to you being misunderstood. Where people think you're the one overreacting, because they're too intoxicated. But hold on I'm the child here, why with these people are we affiliated? Why... Continue Reading →

An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Waiting Room

I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room, fuelled by both hope and doom. The hustle and bustle of the busy staff, the situations serious but they smile and laugh. They try to ease the patients nerves, melt them away. Get them to forget about death today. Although weak and feeble in appearance, these are the... Continue Reading →

A very honest entry.

Do you ever have those conflicting feelings? For instance I hate the way I look right now because I'm fat and disgusting. However I have a massive urge to stuff my face with carbs and dairy, also sushi but I always crave sushi! I'm not actually stuffing my face but I am fantasizing about a... Continue Reading →

Fobbed Off For Being Fat

I have been considered obese since I was about 8 years old. EvenĀ some of theĀ adults in my life would make remarks, or little digs when you really think about it. But I was never made to feel ugly, not by friends and family anyway. In fact I was told quite often how beautiful I was... Continue Reading →

Right in the middle of it!

It has been an other few weeks of doubt and anguish, and not because I'm in physical pain or have been overly ill. However it's the mental anguish that torments so many of us! We all deal with pain in different ways. Some inflict pain with the use of drugs, drink even food. Others actually... Continue Reading →

Angry

I was given a second chance. My life began again. Then it was grabbed from under me and now all I feel is pain. The doctors smile politely as I greet them pale and grey. They talk of medication, cures and instructions I must obey. They fill me with poison that kills the poison killing... Continue Reading →

Mr Sandman

I wish to sleep now Mr Sandman, for my body grows weary and my eyes are heavy. Please Mr Sandman I'm feeling weak and my thoughts are getting scary. Hey Mr Sandman I'm talking to you, please listen to me today. I promise I'll do whatever you want, I promise to obey. Why must I... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑