Blocked

I'm trying to write something profound, I want to entice you, keep you around. As I look at my screen, there's a block in my head, its rife in here, but creativities dead! I'm trying to take you all on a journey, I try to be pleasant, but I want you to know me. I appreciate all of... Continue Reading →

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Wounded

POP! There it goes. You were content, from your head to your toes. Yet, somehow, and goodness knows? You're riddled with dread, shot with a blow! Your stomach is turning. The fear disconcerting! Feeling helpless, you're burning, and your heart is done yearning. Nothing and no one, means anything, and your done! Constant night time.... Continue Reading →

The lost

The trapped are calling me, screaming out my name. Hands over my ears, I try to hide from guilt and shame. They're trying to convince me that I am just the same. These problems self inflicted, only got myself to blame. I can feel their heartache, I can feel their pain. The blood of the... Continue Reading →

Possessed

Tears streamed down her face as she was hit with the realization that no one could hear her. She felt like she was screaming out in pain, but instead the hurt just hid, burried deep inside. She tried to dig her way back out, clawing at anything she could. However the harder she looked, the... Continue Reading →

Loser

I don't want to be alone forever, I really don't! But when I try, everything dictates that I'll be forever alone. For a couple of weeks my energy is up. I'm well and happy, I've got some luck. Then low and behold, in it comes creeping. Sickness and terror and that panicky feeling. So I... Continue Reading →

Giving Up.

Waking up again this morning, nothing to do, no one to see. What's the point of getting up? I'm so fed up of being me. In pain, pissed off and oh so fatigued. Longing for some sort of release. Trapped inside this broken body. Pleading to finally be free. Crawling along, bearly lifting a finger,... Continue Reading →

Panic Attack.

Bish, bosh, bash. You're under attack! Your heart skips a beat, and you weren't expecting that! Smash, bang, wollop, I mean what a load of bollocks? It's punched you straight through the chest, and on the floor you dollop. A panic you've never experienced just shot through your chest. So much pain, you look down... Continue Reading →

Sickness through out my body and mind.

A satisfying sight, the recovery from a fight. The sun shines brightly and the world's a delight. At least I can breathe and the cancerous pollution no longer has me. Finally I feel the glory, finally I'm free, the path is clear for me to see. Well didnt that start off so sweet, the remmsion... Continue Reading →

Going outside with Anxiety.

It can be really difficult for some one who has anxiety to go outside. I can not venture out on a spontaneous one and don't really like letting people in my space spontaneously. So when some one like me gets let down especially a couple hours before we're supposed to meet. It's a massive set... Continue Reading →

BITCH!

I don't know if it's lack of motivation, sadness or both, but I haven't got the energy to people today. The thing is it's happening more and more, it's become completely normal, and I know that's not ok! However it's easy to collapse in this pit of despair, harder to claw your way back to... Continue Reading →

Mental Illness doesn’t mean crazy!

Oops. I think I scared you when I mentioned mental illness. Because to those that don't understand it, mental illness equals crazy. You think people like me have got a screw loose. The kinds of beasts that'll eat your babies. To you this imbalance in my mind automatically makes me dangerous. You act like if... Continue Reading →

Wash away the sadness

I'm so terribly sad, so much so my stomach hurts. The pain rises up and burst out! I'm broken and nothing works. A shell lost amongst the fishes, in the deep blue sea. They swim and frolic happily beside me. I'm unnoticeable, a small gem at the bottom of the ocean. The waves wash me... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Elf.

Things were approaching normal again. The mainstream, just in sight. I even went on date yesterday and I had a lovely night. I went to bed all content, and wrapped up all in joy. Well, until my anxiety popped up, just to annoy! "For goodness sake anxiety, why can't you let me be?" "Well I... Continue Reading →

An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

Panic to Death

I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it's hard to just wake. Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on. Festive apparel plasters the screen. I'm supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling. But I can't bring my self... Continue Reading →

Waiting Room

I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room, fuelled by both hope and doom. The hustle and bustle of the busy staff, the situations serious but they smile and laugh. They try to ease the patients nerves, melt them away. Get them to forget about death today. Although weak and feeble in appearance, these are the... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Train.

Your shadowy figure lingers close. Your ghastly stench right under my nose. My heart is pounding quickly with fear, by the sound of your whispers close to my ear. Your presence creepy, evil and rough, making my body subzero to touch. The metallic aroma surrounding my mouth, filling the rest of my body with doubt.... Continue Reading →

Right in the middle of it!

It has been an other few weeks of doubt and anguish, and not because I'm in physical pain or have been overly ill. However it's the mental anguish that torments so many of us! We all deal with pain in different ways. Some inflict pain with the use of drugs, drink even food. Others actually... Continue Reading →

Angry

I was given a second chance. My life began again. Then it was grabbed from under me and now all I feel is pain. The doctors smile politely as I greet them pale and grey. They talk of medication, cures and instructions I must obey. They fill me with poison that kills the poison killing... Continue Reading →

Senses

I hear you breath, not far away. I hear you scrambling around today. I hear you hunt to find your prey. I hear you but ignore you anyway. I smell the corroding flesh upon your bones. I smell the stench of the last place you roamed. I smell the blood that you last had. I... Continue Reading →

Arguing with Anxiety

I feel sick and my body is shaking. It's not a cold or flu. All of my insides are aching. Now I can't breathe too. Unfortunately I know what's coming. But it will not stop. That's right stick concrete down my throat. Then stack up bricks on top. The rational side is slowly fading. My... Continue Reading →

Just Breathe

"Just breathe." The say. "You're getting better why are you crying?" "Well because every day my body does not function and I feel like I'm dying." "But why?" They say. "You had good news, you're getting fitter!" "Whist that might be true for my body my mind feels sicker." "We don't understand?" They say. "You... Continue Reading →

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