Going outside with Anxiety.

It can be really difficult for some one who has anxiety to go outside. I can not venture out on a spontaneous one and don't really like letting people in my space spontaneously. So when some one like me gets let down especially a couple hours before we're supposed to meet. It's a massive set... Continue Reading →

BITCH!

I don't know if it's lack of motivation, sadness or both, but I haven't got the energy to people today. The thing is it's happening more and more, it's become completely normal, and I know that's not ok! However it's easy to collapse in this pit of despair, harder to claw your way back to... Continue Reading →

Date Night

Erratic, pounding, bursting from my chest. How can one evening make you such a mess? Throat feels swollen, it's kind of closing up. It's date number 2, I can'tbelieve my luck? Yes its good nerves, but still it makes me sick and my stomach is tied up in knots. I feel like I'm floating, but... Continue Reading →

My bed, my only friend.

I gravitate towards my bed. I like to rest my weary head. Should I venture out instead? Nah, you know, I'd rather be dead. Socialize with other demons. None of them are really human. Stay inside and don't go near them. I'll just stay alone in here then. Why would I want any friends? Many... Continue Reading →

Mental Illness doesn’t mean crazy!

Oops. I think I scared you when I mentioned mental illness. Because to those that don't understand it, mental illness equals crazy. You think people like me have got a screw loose. The kinds of beasts that'll eat your babies. To you this imbalance in my mind automatically makes me dangerous. You act like if... Continue Reading →

Wash away the sadness

I'm so terribly sad, so much so my stomach hurts. The pain rises up and burst out! I'm broken and nothing works. A shell lost amongst the fishes, in the deep blue sea. They swim and frolic happily beside me. I'm unnoticeable, a small gem at the bottom of the ocean. The waves wash me... Continue Reading →

My new face.

I just looked in the mirror and didn't recognise my reflection. When did I get an old ladies complexion? When did my eyes start to look this tired? When did these turn up, these wrinkles all wired? Why when I frown, do lines decorate my face? Grey hairs sprinkled all over the place! Why when... Continue Reading →

Anxiety Elf.

Things were approaching normal again. The mainstream, just in sight. I even went on date yesterday and I had a lovely night. I went to bed all content, and wrapped up all in joy. Well, until my anxiety popped up, just to annoy! "For goodness sake anxiety, why can't you let me be?" "Well I... Continue Reading →

An other honest entry

It's creeping up on me more and more Every day. I thought I was getting better but the pain and anxiety is clawing deeper into my soul. I don't know what's bringing it on but I'm waking up every other night gasping for air, heart pounding, vice clutching pressure on my chest. My jaw stiffens... Continue Reading →

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