Thirty Two, Still Single, Still Fat, and Very Menopausal!

Chapter 1 The Fall

Yes I like a drink, I like it so much, it’s my best friend. You know Jack and Stella? Well they’ve got me to the bitter end. How can you expect me to go through what I do without binging once or twice. All the stress fizzles away, and my chest feels warm and light!

Fat you say, well yes you’re right, but do you know why or how? They pumped me full of steroids, but it’s one of the reasons I have my life right now! The cancer came but twice as soon as I hit thirty. Celebrations were short lived, and I felt the wrong kind of dirty.

But a week later, I collapsed to the ground. Breathless, hopeless and screaming without sound. Hazy me, suddenly greeted by doctors. “Cardiac Arrest.” Those words did shock us!

Not only that, I’d had a P.E! No wonder why I couldn’t breathe. A clot in each lung, so near to the heart. If it ended up there, no life restart.

“So much to take in, just sleep dear girl. Too much information from when you fell. The scans are all done the injections all taken. You’ll have answers tomorrow, we won’t be mistaken.”

A flutter of an eye a glimpse of a wire. Machine strapped to chest, this is all pretty dire! Nurses smiling and rushing, doctors doing their rounds. The machines droning on with the beep, beep sounds.

Finally a doctor approaches. Such a friendly demeanor, but the pit of my stomach knows the news is much meaner! Doctor sits down on the end of my bed. “By golly girl, how is your head?”

A slight smile, but very much wondering? Just get it out, what’s the bad thing? “I’ve got it right here, I’ve got your answer. I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ve got cancer!”

I have written about when I collapsed and found out about the cancer in more detail. The post is called ‘My Fall’, this is just the first part of the journey I’ve been on. I’m waiting on some results and hoping the end of this journey is a much brighter one?!

6 thoughts on “Thirty Two, Still Single, Still Fat, and Very Menopausal!

Add yours

  1. Maybe you’ve covered this before and I just wasn’t paying due attention. But I’d love to know where ‘The Middle Human’ came from.
    P.S. You’re fucking amazing, Hayley. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is an amazingly told story about something very sad, and terrifying. Inspirational (as said by someone who does not have the guts to share my own miserable tale). Hugs to you, this journey you’ve been on sounds horrific 💛

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you ❤️, so much. Better place in my life now… health wise. But I think I left myself somewhere along the way in the journey… If that makes sense? I’m busy collecting up the pieces I dropped. Hope things are well with you too ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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