Giving Up.

Waking up again this morning, nothing to do, no one to see. What’s the point of getting up? I’m so fed up of being me.

In pain, pissed off and oh so fatigued. Longing for some sort of release. Trapped inside this broken body. Pleading to finally be free.

Crawling along, bearly lifting a finger, whats the point of wasting energy. So I’ll just be sad and alone forever and this I do dare to decree.

It’s easier just to lay down, no one to disappoint, no need to beg nor plead. Searching for something to kick start my life, but every breath floats away with the sea.

Waves come crashing, banging and swirling, pushing every emotion into the tides. Swallow it, take it deeper than ever, let it wollow forever inside.

The pit of your stomach oh so damaged, but not as fragile as your state of mind. Never will you have yourself. Normality you never will find.

Whilst people tell you it’s ok, and they try and hold you and be ever so kind. You push them away, stay wrapped in your filth, lowly, cowardly and very confined.

Bye bye world just leave me be. I want to be alone. I’d rather just be sad and lonely, stuck inside my home.

So please stop trying to rescue me because I’m tombed in here. I’ll just stay a nervous wreck, dictated by life long fear.


5 thoughts on “Giving Up.

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  1. I once read a book about anxiety, the author talked of “holding her own hand”. When she felt anxious, she would step back and the adult her would hold the hand of the child inside. I have employed that since reading it.. for me it helps! Try to do one thing that would make you happy. Know that no matter how alone you feel you are loved, and everyone feels alone even those surrounded by friends and family. Sending you the biggest hug and hopes for a pleasant day.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It really has helped.. read the book in the mid 90s have been trying to think of the title or author all day. Of course I will but … likely you will feel all better before I do, lol. Can’t tell you how often I have felt or read others blogs, comments etc. who also feel the way you do.. we all do at times (me more so then some, 🙂 )

    I have several families that I follow on YouTube, it is the best… you feel part of their day to day lives. There is a family of 6 that I watch (twins in the mix) that just sold their house moving into a tiny house, saving to build their forever home. Their family really makes me happy.

    Don’t go to Disney.. but I watch tons of Disney videos.. it is the happiest place after all, 🙂

    Really afraid of birds.. would you believe I look forward to watching parrot videos.
    Contact me via my website if you ever want to talk or email etc. Oh and if you want some fun YouTube channels I am full of suggestions!

    Because you are never alone!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I know it seems really scary what was said in my post, but actually it was more to tell people you know what sometimes you feel really crappy and that’s ok. As long as it’s not 100% of the time.

      I love watching Disney, but my go to on YouTube are gaming videos, specifically horror ones.

      Thank you for the support. Sending positive vibes to you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh no horror and gaming, lol.. You didn’t scare me, think it is awesome that you share. If more people did think of how much better all of us would feel. Have a nice night!

    Liked by 1 person

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