Things were approaching normal again. The mainstream, just in sight. I even went on date yesterday and I had a lovely night. I went to bed all content, and wrapped up all in joy. Well, until my anxiety popped up, just to annoy!
“For goodness sake anxiety, why can’t you let me be?” “Well I noticed that you seemed ok and thats not fine with me! How dare you go outside and act like you’re happy? Do you think it’s that easy, to get rid of me?”
“Well honestly I thought that I was reaching some kind of high? I thought that maybe after all this time, I may of won the fight? I thought that as I wasn’t as sick right now, I was closer to light? But there you go again clutching at my plight!”
“Silly girl you know I’m not that forgiving! You know I’m not going to let you live a normal living. I’m here forever you know, you’ll never be normal again. Stop acting like you hate me. I am your closest friend!”
“YOU are certainly not my friend! YOU are driving me ragged round the bend. Please, when will you give me a break and let this madness end? Can I just breathe, without you stealing every other breath. Do I really deserve this until my lonesome death?”
“Over acting again my dear? You know the reason why I’m here. I shelter you from the bad world outside. I shelter you from that messy life. People dear, there is no trust. Stay home alone, it really is a must!”
“NO! I can not have you do this to me over and over. You’re not keeping me in this lonely enclosure. I’m venturing out, the world I must see. You have no longer got a hold on me!”
“Calm down love. No need for all the sas. I’m just saying I’m the one that has your back. Everyone else just destroys your sanity. Come on Hayley get back wrapped up in your blankie.”
“It is nice and toastie in here, maybe for a minute?” “Yes, yes come on my dear, wrap your body in it. It’s so warm and safe you see. You don’t need anyone but me.”
And again I lay there arguing with myself. Dissuaded once again by my nasty anxiety elf. I know that I will push through this at some point in time. But right now my anxiety and I are cuddled up just fine!