I had a month or two with some kind of break, but this last week it’s hard to just wake.
Wrapped up in my blankets so warm, my eyes flicker open and the tele is on.
Festive apparel plasters the screen. I’m supposed to fill with a fuzzy feeling.
But I can’t bring my self to laugh or smile because the twinges have been happening again, for a while.
I’m frightened and anxious, I wake gasping for air. Clinging to oxygen that isn’t quite there.
At night time it seems to be the same pattern, wake in the dark waiting for it to happen.
The time when I gasp but can’t catch my breath, the time when I actually panic to death.